Tag Archive | ssbbw

Sex Mistakes Women Make: The Beginning

A while back I wrote a couple of pieces on the mistakes that men make during sex with women. Now I want to cover mistakes that women make when fucking men. What? Women make mistakes? That’s crazy talk right? I mean what could we possibly do wrong? Plenty. I’m only going to cover three of the biggiest.

Mistake #1 – Initiating sex

You don’t do it. You simply don’t initiate any action at all. You wait until he wants it and if he doesn’t want it when you do – you get upset. Unless you’re dating a psychic, he’s not a fucking mind reader. You need to be a less passive partner. Men like to know they are desired by you as much as you like knowing you’re wanted by them. Despite the bravado, which is often a front – men can be a bit insecure as well. Let them know you want to fuck their brains out and it will make sex hotter for both of you.

Now you’re thinking…great how do I do that?

Use your words, your eyes, your body and leave the mind reading for the shysters.  Tell your man you want him in his hear or text him while he’s in the room with you, show him by talking dirty and caressing him thru his pants. I send dirty stories starring me to my man to get him heated up while he’s working. Then I’d text him naked pics of myself so he’d be hot and ready to go by the time he got home from work. Plenty of times “Hi honey, I’m home” didn’t get said until after he blew a load. sexting-3_0.png

Whatever it is – the key is to DO SOMETHING. If you are at home you can show him by avoiding Mistake #2.

Mistake #2 – Hiding Your Body

Men are visual – much more than women. So the thing that you should absolutely be doing is GETTING NAKED in front of your man. Stop focusing on all your flaws real or imagined  and try really hard to remember one very important thing. The man you are hiding your body from wants to fuck your brains out. That means he’s hot for you and your body. Nothing will get a man harder than actually seeing what you are covering up. So seriously…stop doing that!!! Show him the goods. Flaunt your body. Undress slowly. You can initiate sex by simply disrobing in front of him while staring into his eyes and smiling. Fuck him with the lights on and stop telling him all the reasons you are not hot. It’s a turn off. Shut your mouth, peel off your clothes, walk over to him and kiss him. He’ll take it from there.

Mistake #3 – Experimentation Vapors

You’ve been together for a while and your honey says to you – let’s try something new. You are not under any obligation to say yes, especially if what he’s suggesting turns you off. But you don’t need to freak out and start a fight over it either. Also, suggesting something new isn’t an insult to you, so don’t take it that way. It’s actually a compliment. It means that he feels comfortable enough with you and your relationship, that he’s willing to open up about other things that turn him on. Again, you are under no obligation to try it but you definitely should consider it unless it sounds super painful or the idea completely turns you off.  Relationships are a two-way street – and if you want him to do for you, you should be willing to do for him too.

The most important thing to remember is not to make him feel bad about opening up to you.  If you do, he’ll stop opening up and your relationship will eventually fizzle.

So there you have it some of the biggest mistakes women make with men in the bedroom.

Arousal for women begins in the brain but for men it begins with the eyes… they are more visual than women. It doesn’t make them less than us, it makes them different. So our approach to satisfying a man has to be different than their approach to satisfying us.

Hopefully you all understand how to start the process and now understand that for men, sex does not start in the bedroom, it starts wherever you  initiate it. A man will fuck you up against a brick wall if you let him….so tell him that you want him to do just that !

 

Why Fat Shamers Are Delusional

The Fat Shamers are out en masse in 2016. They tell themselves and everyone who might listen that they are doing it for the good of all us poor, sad fatties! We need help, they tell themselves because we are too stupid to understand how fat and disgraceful we are. We’re saving their lives! Obviously, they don’t know they’re fat – and they’re too stupid to read a scale, watch tv or listen to their doctors…so we’ll shame them into fitness!

News Flash Assholes: Shaming people rarely has a positive effect, you’re not saving anyone’s life by ridiculing them – you’re more likely driving them to eat and actually gaining more weight. You want to Fat Shame someone? Fine! Own it but don’t try and convince anyone else that you are doing it for a greater good. You’re doing to feel morally superior and because you enjoy hurting people, especially weak people, not helping them. You obviously have some major insecurities causing you to seek redress with someone you feel is more deserving of ridicule…more deserving than you.

I have heard some of the stupidest reasoning behind fat shaming. My favorite was that the Fat Acceptance movement is somehow requiring/demanding that men change their innate desire and find fat women hot. Wow…you really think our big, fat bodies could actually make that leap?

You are D-E-L-U-S-I-O-N-A-L!

Fat Acceptance is first and foremost about people ACCEPTING and LOVING themselves for who and what they are. How insanely criminal, right? Secondly, it’s about allowing us to live our life how we choose to live it — without ridicule.

It isn’t about you fat shaming assholes at all, I mean, it’s not a miracle movement. It most certainly isn’t a movement that is demanding that anyone actually change what they find sexually appealing. We actually need very little help in that regard. There are more than enough people (men and women) who actually find thick, chubby and fat sexy. You don’t and we’re fine with that. I don’t find insecure little assholes sexually attractive either – so it’s a win-win, as they say.

In closing, I would just like to say that this is a big world and we should all be able to live in peacefully and we should all be treated with respect. If you want to be a fat shaming asshole, be the best fat shaming asshole in the world…I support you! But don’t be a liar. Don’t lie to yourself or try lying to the rest of us about why you do it…because we know why and it’s not about being helpful. It’s because you’re an insecure person who thinks that self-confidence comes from bloviation and bluster. It doesn’t, you know…you have to find that inside yourself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You’d Be So Pretty If…

“You’d be so pretty if you lost some weight” … I can’t tell you how many times I heard that one while growing up. So I’d like to dedicate this piece to all those “helpful” souls who offer this advice to their chubby friend/sister/daughter/cousin/co-worker/whoever.

Telling us we’d “be so pretty if …” is NOT FUCKING HELPFUL! What you’re really saying is that we’re NOT pretty. You’re telling us that our worth is based only upon our weight, and we’re NOTHING unless we conform to what YOU believe is “normal.” In other words, you’re NOT helping, not one bit.

You’re NOT the first person to tell us that we’re fat. WE ALREADY KNOW! All you’re doing is killing what little self-esteem we have. If we’re foolish enough to listen to your “advice,” we’ll be allowing you to treat us like shit because we think that we deserve it. We’ll also end up fatter, lonelier, and more depressed, causing us to take stupid health risks and have risky sex in order to regain some semblance of our shredded self-esteem. News flash: being fat does NOT mean we deserve ANY of this!

I listened to this advice and it fucked my mind up something fierce. I thought of myself as something less than human, unworthy and unlovable. I blamed my weight for everything that went wrong or didn’t happen as I wished because I never thought there was any other reason. This made me close myself off from people, causing me to be unapproachable. Assuming no man would find me attractive, I used humor as a shield from their perceived rejection. This caused men to view me as aloof, and THAT was why they didn’t approach me!

As I got older, I continued to blame my unhappiness on my weight, even though it was never the problem. I put damn near every man that was interested in me in the friend zone because I did not believe they saw me as worthy. My self-loathing was boyfriend Kryptonite and I became very cavalier about men. I never gave any man more than two dates … often less. Sometimes I just randomly made out with guys at bars, took their numbers and didn’t call. I was afraid of being hurt, so I gave no one a chance, and I used them so they wouldn’t use me.

I eventually decided I should marry because I did want a family. Naturally, I chose someone who found my weight to be a problem. I’m not going to bash my ex-husband because we have two sons together and are on good terms. Really, my own belief that I was less than is what led me to choose that path. I think on some level I did this because I figured that would motivate me to finally be thin. It didn’t. You should not ever be with anyone who doesn’t think you are all that and then some; it’s a dumb thing to do. He should have chosen someone else, and I should have too.

Considering all the mistakes I made, here’s some advice that will actually help my fellow big girls: Be yourself. Love yourself. Tell yourself daily that you are awesome, beautiful, and sexy and eventually, you’ll start to believe it. It took me 40 years and plenty of tears to realize what I should have always known – that I’m beautiful, sexy and a damn good catch – and I write this with the hope that I can reach someone and help them get their self-esteem sooner rather than later.

Just remember, you’ll be so pretty if … you ignore the opinions of others and simply believe it’s true!

 

 

 

The Big Girl’s Guide to Orgasms…

bibir-seksiEverybody wants one, not everyone knows how to get/give one. Why is it so complicated? Because despite the fact that we see sex EVERYWHERE, we are still a fairly repressed society. We see sex on magazines, television, billboards but mention it in company and it’s done in hushed whispers. Pssssst, because we still think it’s dirty.

My feeling on this is: sex is dirty… if you’re lucky enough to have a good partner. I love dirty sex. Dirty sex means I’m getting off and getting off good.  If I only cum once…it’s almost disappointing. I’m a real whore when it comes to getting off and you should be too.

We only live once, you know…

I’m going to recap what you need to know about women and orgasms. I covered this in my post on masturbation .

There are 4 types of orgasms a woman can have…yes, FOUR!! And Feminists didn’t do shit to get them for us. 😉

  • Clitoral orgasms – the clitoris has 8000 nerve endings so with the right amount of pressure and effort, you can blow your lid pretty quickly just by stimulating that tiny little button (or in some cases a turkey neck).
  • Vaginal orgasms – some people believe in a G-spot others don’t. To achieve an orgasm this way takes longer, so the longer you are being penetrated and thrust into the more likely you will achieve the Big O. Making sure you are lubed up or wet enough is a must. Tilting your pelvis helps to reach the sweet spot. It’s trial and error but oh so worth it when you get there.
  • Blended orgasms – these occur when you are stimulating both the clit and the vagina. This is the MOST powerful orgasm and when you get one of these, you’ll likely not be able to walk right away from all that leg shaking.
  • Multiple orgasms – these happen one after the other pretty quickly. Not everyone can withstand the constant stimulation but those who can…holy shit!!

So, how do you achieve them? Before you can get your partner to help you cum, you need to be able to cum on your own. So…masturbate. Masturbate a lot. If you don’t know how to do it then read my tips on masturbation here. One of the easiest ways to achieve orgasm is through oral sex but you should be willing to give as well as receive, even if it’s not required. Also, keep a nice pretty pussy. Don’t ask someone to put their face and mouth in an unkempt, smelly jungle. Read my guide to going “Downtown” and enjoy what happens next.

Should You Fake It?

Don’t get in the habit of faking orgasms. What’s the point? Your partner wants to make you cum, if you fake it – you’ve cheated them and yourself. I get not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings. I don’t want to hurt anyone either, so I try hard to not be a cunt. (I sometimes fail…LOL) If you fake it too much, you guarantee one thing…shitty sex.

Sometimes you simply have to say, “Baby, I love you but I think you’re gonna need to eat my pussy before you fuck me”.  It will make orgasms via penetration much easier, if you’ve already cum once or are on the verge of it.

If you can’t say that, then say instead: “Let’s 69!!!” That’s sexy and it’s only 2 words!!!

Don’t fear losing control and don’t spend too much time thinking about your orgasm. Be in the moment. The minute you start worrying that you may not cum, you won’t. Turn your brain off, and let your body turn on.

The point I’m trying to make here is this…we have many different ways to achieve The Big O, you need to find out what works for you, then relax and enjoy the ride.

One last thing…NO ASS TO MOUTH. That’s just a no. No ASS to anything. You love anal, great!!! Do it last and hit the showers.

 

Have a great weekend!!!

 

 

Middle Aged BBW’s Are A Hot Commodity!

Have you been feeling down about being chubby and getting older? Younger chicks trying to make you feel like shit because you’re “past your prime”? Are those lonely, bitter single chicks taking cheap shots at your age? Then I’ve got some great news for you!!! Stop feeling bad about yourself and listen up!

Of all the genres and sub-genres available in the Porn industry and there are a lot of them,  upwards of a 100 or more different types, the top 7 include: MILF and BBW. That’s riiiight!!! Mommies (#4) and Fat Chicks (#6) ranked in the Top 7 most popular of ALL!!! BDSM came in at #7, take that 50 Shades readers!!  These stats are just hardcore porn…add in the soft core, pinup variety and you’ll start to notice a pattern.  BBWs and SSBBWs are pretty popular, just search youtube for sexy BBW or SSBBW and see how many views these big ladies are getting, it’s a ton! (pun intended)

The popularity of fat chicks and MILFs in porn and in soft core video offerings is growing, YES GROWING,  despite the fact that society thinks us fat chicks should be starved to thinness. Society tells us we are bad, fat, lazy, without discipline, worthless, unattractive and less deserving of pretty much everything and yet all over the world MEN WANT TO FUCK US older, fat chicks more than ever!

So, the next time you are feeling bad because you’ve packed on the weight and your Mom jeans have a muffin top, take heart…it’s highly likely that someone who just saw you and your muffin top popped a woody! Hold that chubby head up high and smile, you sexy bitch!

 

Happy Sunday!

 

 

 

 

 

Why I Hate Stupid Losers Who Can’t Get Laid…

keep-calm-and-ignore-this-losers-3I read a very flawed and ridiculously stupid blog post titled “Why I hate fat girls: Tipping the dating scales” written by 20 Nation. In it, he actually blames fat girls for thin chicks being too stuck up to give him a chance.

Fat girls are tipping the scale

The reason for the sexy girls being so stuck up is simple. When a girl is fat, she is no longer attractive to 99.9% of men. This means that the only guys chasing after her are the mythical “chubby chasers” or lower value guys (that don’t really want them, but are out of options.)

This means that 99.9% of men are desiring a now dwindling percentage of skinny girls. Now from those skinny girls there is a percentage that aren’t hot. So 99.9% of guys are now desiring an even smaller percentage of women.

This means that those women  that are hot are going to be fawned over, put on pedestals, sucked up too and hit on ALL THE TIME by 99.9% of men. Now there are some guys that don’t have the courage, confidence or game to go for the hot girls, but even they will usually say something awkwardly obvious to girls like these.

The result?

Hot girls in fat countries are stuck up

Because of an unnatural amount of guys sucking up to them and fawning over them, these women start to believe they are gods gift to planet earth; they think that their dating market value is much higher than it really is.

Then there is the fact that there should be more hot girls walking around, but those hot girls have turned themselves into Jabba the Hut. Many of these fat girls would actually be stunners if they took care of their body. If they did that, the small amount of hot girls wouldn’t get so much attention from so many men and the world would be a better place.

There is more, oh so much more. I laughed at the stupidity of his arguments. Seriously, it’s my fault and the fault of all the other BBWs and SSBBWs that he can’t get laid? Motherfucker, I get laid all the time. I’ve never had any problems getting laid despite that scientific figure of 0.1% of men thinking I’m fuckable. I must be a Chubby Chaser Chupacabra magnet because I’ve had so much dick thrown my way, in my lifetime, that if I’d said yes to all of them…I wouldn’t have had the time to marry twice and have 3 children because I’D STILL BE FUCKING THE LINE UP OF MEN INTERESTED IN BANGING ME!!!!!!

So, FUCK YOU LOSER. It’s not my fault you can’t get pussy. It’s not my fault you have masturbatory arthritis. It’s not my fault you need to invest in urns of lotion to slap your fucking limp dick.

IT’S YOUR FAULT, you dumb fuck.  Learn how to talk to women and stop blaming others. You might want to try to date in your league and it appears that Supermodels may not be the way to go.

Good Night!

(HT:The Tracks at Christie Road )

How Do You Have Sex When You’re Fat?

Seriously, it’s not much different than having sex when you’re not fat. It’s mostly about approach, sometimes you need to make accommodations but really it’s a mindset more than anything.

You can’t enjoy sex if you’re mind isn’t in it. So, how can you get your mind in the right place? First, realize when someone wants to have sex with you, it’s because they want you. They know what you look like, you’re not fooling anyone into thinking you’re much thinner than you really are despite the girdles, Spanx, chronic sucking in of your gut…they know how you look and you look 1000 times better in their eyes than your own.  We magnify our flaws so we usually see ourselves in a worse light. I don’t know how many times I’ve pointed someone out to my husband and said, “I like her outfit and it looks good on her.  Since we are about the same size it should look good on me.” Only to have my husband tell me that I’m insane and that I see myself as much larger than reality. Not that it’s a big deal, I am comfy in my skin but it just proves that we all have a bit of body dysmorphia.

The bottom line is this, if someone wants to bang you, it’s because they are attracted to YOU. They want to see YOU NAKED. It’s a turn on not a turn off, stop hiding.

Depending on how big you are and how big your partner is, some positions won’t work without modification. No problem! Fucking modify that shit. There is a product on the market called the Liberator Wedge. I’ve not tried it but I might because it looks kinda awesome.  The most important thing about having sex while fat is that you ENJOY it.  I have a few rules that I have lived by and you should too regardless of your size.

  1. Don’t have sex with someone who puts you down
  2. Don’t have sex with someone ashamed to be in public with you
  3. Don’t have sex with someone who wants you to change who and what you are.
  4. Do have sex with the lights on and blankets off.
  5. Do wear sexy lingerie
  6. Do try new positions
  7. Do believe you’re sexy when someone tells you that you are
  8. Don’t dismiss or diminish compliments when given to you

This is a tip for FAs (Fat Admirers):

Don’t make it all about the fat

This is where a lot of fat admirers, whether they claim the identity or not, fuck up immediately. A lot of fat people, particularly fat women, have a hard time believing that someone could be sexually attracted to them. If someone comes along and is then only sexually attracted to their fat, well, it comes across as creepy. Coming across as creepy does not (except in some subcultures) generally result in you getting laid.

Being attracted to fat bodies is awesome. But if your lover thinks they are a stand in for just ANY OLD FAT BODY, that’s depersonalizing and not sexy (unless you’re both into that). Make it personal — if you love my fat belly, tell me you love MY fat belly and why.

Note: If you’re with a person because you love that person and you are not sure about their fat, that is a valid thing for you to feel. But it’s going to be tricky to navigate. Don’t be afraid of touching your fat lover’s body. Figure out what you love about the experience. Never, ever say, “I never thought I could enjoy sex with a fat person.”

The most important thing to remember about having sex when fat is to focus on what you’re feeling and not how you look. Nothing feels better than being loved and making love. Go with what’s happening and enjoy!

 

Happy Hump Day!