Archive | January 2015

Why You Should Have Sex When You’re Sick…

Unless you’ve been medically advised against sexual activity, you should try to fuck through all of your ailments. Please don’t ignore the first half of that sentence, I’m very serious. If a doctor says “no sex”, then don’t.  If the doctor says no strenuous activity…don’t assume sex is out, make him/her spell it out.

This is no joke, if you have to roll through a list of positions – then do so. Don’t make any assumptions because you could be missing out on some natural healing. It’s worth the trouble, I promise you.

Depending on what’s wrong, you may need to make some adjustments. Sex can cure headaches and migraines because of the pleasure hormones (oxytocin and endorphins) that it releases. According to Popsugar,  sex can also help cure:

  • Cramps: Having sex can help with period pain. Orgasms cause the uterine muscles to contract and release brain chemicals that act as a natural pain reliever, immediately relieving menstrual cramps.
  • Colds: Regular sex has also been shown to have immune-boosting effects that can cure the common cold. Intercourse raises immunoglobulin A, an antibody that fights the cold virus.
  • Morning sickness: Oral sex can cure morning sickness? Yes, according to Gordon Gallup, a psychologist at SUNY-Albany. He says that the best way to cure morning sickness during pregnancy is with semen from the person who got you pregnant. Gallup believes that a woman’s body rejects the father’s semen, causing sickness, so if you build up a tolerance by ingesting it, you can prevent the stomach problems.
  • Insomnia: After sex, your body releases the hormone oxytocin, aka the “cuddle hormone,” which makes you sleepy. And women produce more oxytocin than men.
  • Hiccups: Dr. Francis M. Fesmire came up with two cures for hiccups, “digital rectal massage” and orgasms. He said, “An orgasm results in incredible stimulation of the vagus nerve. From now on, I will be recommending sex — culminating with orgasm — as the cure-all for intractable hiccups.”
  • Depression: Sex has been proven to help mental health thanks to numerous studies. James Coan, Ph.D., professor of psychology at the University of Virginia in Charlottesville, says, “When you have sex, you release feel-good hormones, including oxytocin and endorphins.” And a recent study found that oral sex can help, too, since semen contains chemicals that elevate mood, increase affection, and contain antidepressants.
In my own personal experience, sex has helped relieve gallbladder attacks, muscle aches, joint pain, and cramps associated with intestinal distress or IBS.  Remember what I said about making adjustments? When my stomach or anything in my midsection is cramping, we go doggie style or any variation from behind. Reverse cowgirl works nicely too. Keep weight or pressure off and get your orgasm on!


When your back is hurting, do missionary with your legs going towards or behind your head like a bunny. This helps stretch your back…go gently and don’t push it if it hurts.


It is especially helpful when you’re not feeling well to extend the foreplay and incorporate a lot of massage and oral play. The more times a woman orgasms during sex the more pain relief she can get. In the case of men, they can only orgasm the one time but if you can get him to slowly build to it, when he blows he’ll blow big and get some relief himself.


So, remember, don’t use “Honey, I have a headache” as an excuse to pass on sex, use it as a reason to fuck like rabbits!


Happy Hump Day!!!!

Dating/Relationship Myth #1: Smart Women Can’t Find Men

smartThis is code for uncompromising bitches who can’t find a sucker to put up with her shit.

The fact is this: the smarter the woman is the EASIER it is for her to find the right man because a smart woman recognizes a good man and treats him accordingly. I and other intelligent women in successful relationships find memes like this offensive bullshit.

It’s dumb women, who think that their shit doesn’t stink, that continue to choose THE WRONG MAN over and over and over; or act so high and mighty that they drive Mr. Right away with all their entitlement crap. Or even worse than that…get involved with married men and then think that somehow they will prove to be better or smarter than the poor beleaguered spouses who’ve been cuckolded. It is because of that, they remain chronically single into their mid-30’s and beyond. It’s NOT because they’re smart, it’s because they’re chronically selfish and self-indulgent and they do not know how to be a partner. They think they deserve to be a Princess. Smart women choose partners, they don’t choose peons or pimps.

Now I am NOT referring to women who deliberately and consciously choose to be single. I am talking about women who put memes like this on their Pinterest, Instagram or Facebook because they have been dumped/left …yet AGAIN.

You are not unable to find or keep a good man because you are too smart, fat, old, young, dumb, etc…you are unable to find/keep a good man because you are suffering from low self esteem and don’t believe you are worthy or you are a selfish little bitch.  Both conditions are curable but it’s likely the sufferers of low self esteem will actually prevail over the selfish types who think they are too awesome to “settle”. Honey, you’re not settling, you’re not worthy.

There is a huge difference between being a self confident woman and a stuck up bitch.  Self confident women believe they have worth, stuck up bitches believe no one is worthy of them.

Would you want to be with someone who thinks you don’t deserve them? Exactly.

Believe in yourself but not to the point of believing you are better than everyone else…that’s a line you should never cross.

The Big Girl’s Guide to Orgasms…

bibir-seksiEverybody wants one, not everyone knows how to get/give one. Why is it so complicated? Because despite the fact that we see sex EVERYWHERE, we are still a fairly repressed society. We see sex on magazines, television, billboards but mention it in company and it’s done in hushed whispers. Pssssst, because we still think it’s dirty.

My feeling on this is: sex is dirty… if you’re lucky enough to have a good partner. I love dirty sex. Dirty sex means I’m getting off and getting off good.  If I only cum once…it’s almost disappointing. I’m a real whore when it comes to getting off and you should be too.

We only live once, you know…

I’m going to recap what you need to know about women and orgasms. I covered this in my post on masturbation .

There are 4 types of orgasms a woman can have…yes, FOUR!! And Feminists didn’t do shit to get them for us. 😉

  • Clitoral orgasms – the clitoris has 8000 nerve endings so with the right amount of pressure and effort, you can blow your lid pretty quickly just by stimulating that tiny little button (or in some cases a turkey neck).
  • Vaginal orgasms – some people believe in a G-spot others don’t. To achieve an orgasm this way takes longer, so the longer you are being penetrated and thrust into the more likely you will achieve the Big O. Making sure you are lubed up or wet enough is a must. Tilting your pelvis helps to reach the sweet spot. It’s trial and error but oh so worth it when you get there.
  • Blended orgasms – these occur when you are stimulating both the clit and the vagina. This is the MOST powerful orgasm and when you get one of these, you’ll likely not be able to walk right away from all that leg shaking.
  • Multiple orgasms – these happen one after the other pretty quickly. Not everyone can withstand the constant stimulation but those who can…holy shit!!

So, how do you achieve them? Before you can get your partner to help you cum, you need to be able to cum on your own. So…masturbate. Masturbate a lot. If you don’t know how to do it then read my tips on masturbation here. One of the easiest ways to achieve orgasm is through oral sex but you should be willing to give as well as receive, even if it’s not required. Also, keep a nice pretty pussy. Don’t ask someone to put their face and mouth in an unkempt, smelly jungle. Read my guide to going “Downtown” and enjoy what happens next.

Should You Fake It?

Don’t get in the habit of faking orgasms. What’s the point? Your partner wants to make you cum, if you fake it – you’ve cheated them and yourself. I get not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings. I don’t want to hurt anyone either, so I try hard to not be a cunt. (I sometimes fail…LOL) If you fake it too much, you guarantee one thing…shitty sex.

Sometimes you simply have to say, “Baby, I love you but I think you’re gonna need to eat my pussy before you fuck me”.  It will make orgasms via penetration much easier, if you’ve already cum once or are on the verge of it.

If you can’t say that, then say instead: “Let’s 69!!!” That’s sexy and it’s only 2 words!!!

Don’t fear losing control and don’t spend too much time thinking about your orgasm. Be in the moment. The minute you start worrying that you may not cum, you won’t. Turn your brain off, and let your body turn on.

The point I’m trying to make here is this…we have many different ways to achieve The Big O, you need to find out what works for you, then relax and enjoy the ride.

One last thing…NO ASS TO MOUTH. That’s just a no. No ASS to anything. You love anal, great!!! Do it last and hit the showers.

 

Have a great weekend!!!

 

 

The Big Girl’s Guide To Foreplay

Everyone knows or believe they know what foreplay is and everyone has an opinion on the purpose of it, the best way to go about it or whether it’s even necessary. Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one, so here’s mine: when it comes to sex there is no “one size fits all” and people who think they know how to please ALL women because they managed to make a few girls cum will eventually get knocked off the top Mt. Arrogance and the fall will leave a nasty mark.

Here are a few things you should know:

  • No two pussies are alike, they vary in size, shape, look and what arouses them
  • As a woman ages, what worked in the past, may not work now
  • A large part of arousal occurs in the brain not just her snatch
  • Arousal and orgasm can be affected by factors other than what’s happening in the bedroom. Stress or distress can make it really difficult to get off

Taking all of those things into consideration, you will start to understand the importance of good foreplay. If you are just looking to hump and dump, then what I have to say won’t matter to you; but if you get as much pleasure from giving pleasure as you do receiving it…then this blog is for YOU.

Have you ever heard a woman say that she can’t cum unless (fill in the blank)? The blank is usually some variant of clitoral stimulation be it oral, vibration or fingering. There is a reason for that. The clitoris is the female equivalent of a penis and we need it to be erect to cum. A woman requires two things to achieve pleasure: a well lubricated vagina and an erect clit. A damp pussy isn’t always going to be enough, so if you stop foreplay the minute you feel some wetness, it will take longer for a woman to orgasm – if at all. Even the Man of Steel may not be able to stay hard long enough to pull off that miracle.

This is why foreplay is so important. It increases the likelihood that your woman will be howling at the moon, which is what you want, unless you’re a selfish prick. 😉

The best thing to do is to either make your woman cum during foreplay by either eating her pussy like a starving dog eats Puppy Chow or working her clit with your fingers or a toy until she cums. Make sure she’s a little wet when you start on her clit because diddling a dry clit can seriously fucking hurt.

You don’t have to make her cum during foreplay to get an orgasm during penetration but it’s sure easier that way. There are many different things you can do to get her aroused, if you aren’t sure what to do you can certainly ask her what she likes. You can try doing multiple things that arouse all her senses until she’s ready to burst or she’s begging you to slam your hard cock inside her. Work the erogenous zones, talk dirty to her, use toys, role play or watch some porn – if she’s into that.

The most important thing to remember is DO NOT RUSH. The longer you work the foreplay, the higher her chances are for an orgasm or multiple orgasms.

Good luck and happy fucking!!

 

A Post About Nothing

Did you ever sit down to write something and realize that you’ve got nothing? That’s not 100% true, in my case, I have a couple blogs planned out in my head. The problem I’m facing is the realization that after being on a hiatus for a couple months….I maybe shouldn’t just dive in full throttle. I should warm people up a bit. I’m writing a post on the importance of foreplay and it would seem ironic if I rushed right in with that without any…you know… blog foreplay.

So here I am writing a post about nothing as a way of gently easing back in to the game.

 

Stay tuned for the other blogs I have planned this week.