His mouth says he loves you but his eyes…appear less committed. Men really do seem to be from Mars, while we women simply are not. We (men and women) see things very differently. Many of our differences are biologic but some are learned/habits. What I want to address in this blog is what we call “The Wandering Eye” or checking people out. Whatever term floats your boat.
Men look at women, unless they’re gay, MEN LOOK AT WOMEN. Got that? Until they are cold and dead, they will look. They can be 100% committed and completely in love with someone and THEY WILL STILL notice a hot chick. That is just the way it is. I read upwards of 12 articles on this subject in the last couple of days, I asked my husband about it too. All males sources agree, it is a biological condition. They simply can’t help it. They are driven to look. They can fight it, they can minimize the looking when you are with them but they won’t stop until they are dead. We’ve heard many sayings like, “I may be married but I’m not dead” or “I may be on a diet but I can still look at the menu”.
Men may not realize that this urge of theirs makes the women they are with feel insecure but it can and often does. It makes us feel like we are not woman enough for you. We think this means you’re not happy with us and that you are looking to replace us with a better model. And sometimes that is exactly what happens and because we’ve seen it happen to our friends, we worry that it’s going to happen to us. Men will say that women do it too and to some extent we do. Those of us in happy relationships tend to look at “safe” hotties like celebrities or the characters they play. These are men that we can fantasize about but know in reality they are unattainable and therefore not a threat to our relationship. We don’t seek out the stimulation like some men do, if we see a hot guy we notice but unlike men, we do not go out of our way to look for them. We’re not the “hunters”.
Men, on the other hand, will look at any woman they find attractive, everyday attainable women and will have her stripped and fucked in their heads before she’s out of sight. That’s one big difference between the sexes. Now, some of you may be reading this and thinking, not MY man!! Yeah, honey…your man too! Nobody is immune and because they all do it, we have to find a way to make peace with it.
One way to get over it is to follow your man’s lead. Does he look at hot women right in front of you? Then you should allow yourself to notice that stud with the 6-pack and low rise jeans, who cares that he’s only 20? Does he go online and look at hotties on the internet? Then you should too. If your man thinks you should not feel insecure because he enjoys the visual stimulation, then he should be fine with you doing exactly the same thing. As long as he stops at the looking line and doesn’t cross over into the flirting line or starts hanging out in private chat rooms, it’s really no big deal. Remember that other old saying? If you can’t beat him, join him. Join him! It’s all fine, he won’t feel threatened. He won’t worry that you’re picturing that sexy construction worker while he’s grabbing a handful of your ass. Your man is not gonna feel the least bit insecure that you may be less attracted to him now that you are trolling sexy sites
Now for all you guys out there thinking that checking out women and mentally fucking them, in between “I love you’s” to your wife or girlfriend is totally harmless, remember this the next time you’re checking out hotties online or in person, you’ve given your woman permission to do it too…and she is. 😉