I got 5 emails asking me this question in a variety of different ways, different scenarios but ultimately it’s the same…what do you do when the person you love breaks their promises? One lady even went so far as to say constantly breaks promises. So, I’m going to discuss a broken promise and many broken promises because your actions will be and should be different.
Let’s start with a broken promise. Someone you love gave you their word that they would do something and they didn’t keep their word. This is not like a marital vow or anything, this is a promise to do something/change something/some kind of something. What do you do?
- Don’t assume they deliberately broke their word
- Ask them about it, in a non-confrontational way. No accusations.
- If they say they forgot, believe them, especially if it’s the first time and they have a penis. (men forget shit)
- Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill, if they forgot, show some grace and move on.
What if they didn’t forget? What if they just didn’t give a shit about the promise they made? Like seriously, fuck you! I don’t owe you anything. Who are you to make demands on me? Yada, yada, yada
- DUMP THAT MOTHERFUCKER NOW!
That selfish asshole won’t change and why are you staying with someone who would treat you with such disrespect? Seriously? Are you married to that ass? If someone you married treats promises to you like nothing…then you may want to have a look at your entire marriage? How is everything else? If he treats you with disrespect in the small things, the bigger things won’t suddenly be treated like fine china. This is the road to nowhere and if you are married to someone like this – get some counseling or get a good lawyer. No joke, he’ll be cheating on you eventually.
Multiple Broken Promises
Really? You’re asking me what you should do when someone you love breaks promise after promise like a serial promise maker and breaker?
First, don’t marry him. Second, don’t trust him – not even to feed your Goldfish. Fuck him till you’re bored, then end it. It won’t get better. If you put up with being disrespected, then you will continue to be disrespected. He has no incentive to change when you accept that kind of treatment.
For the record, he could be the greatest guy on the planet with a shit memory or a condition that causes him to have a shit memory. If that is the case, treat this like you would any other time he simply forgot. Forgetting, legitimately forgetting, is not the same thing as deliberately breaking a promise. Keep that in mind. Forgive and move on.
If you do marry a man that constantly breaks his promises, then don’t complain about it. You knew going in exactly who he was, you accepted it. Live with it. Marriage is not some magic fairy that suddenly transforms a person into someone else. If the person has qualities you didn’t like when you dated, he’ll have them as your husband and they’ll likely get a bit worse. Deal with it.
Does that sound a bit harsh? Sorry, really I am but I see women and not just BBWs but pretty much all women at some point in their lives believing this fairytale bullshit. I spend a lot of time talking about low self esteem but the over-esteemed should be addressed and will likely be another post. In a nut shell, we are all human and therefore NOT perfect. Prince Charming does not exist but then again neither does Cinderella. What you should be looking for is not someone who is perfect but someone who is perfect FOR YOU. Someone who loves you, respects you, accepts responsibility for mistakes and actively tries to do better. YOU NEED TO BE THAT PERSON TOO. It’s a two-way street. You both give and you both take. If only one of you is a giving and the other is taking…someone is being used. End it. [This advice is for men as well. Don’t allow yourself to be used. For Men – go back a re-read the piece and flip Men for Women and follow my advice.]
Tough love time is over. I’ll be back in a bit with more so …