Is your sex life boring? Do you wish you could spice it up a bit? Maybe your sex life is great but you want to add other elements to the mix. Perhaps you just want to keep things humming along nicely. Maybe you are just super perverted, like me. Whatever your reasons for wanting to change things, what do you do?
Fantasies. Dirty little sexual thoughts that we think about when we’ve got nothing else to do.
We all have them, some are buried so deep we try and pretend they aren’t there. We worry that if we speak them out loud we’ll be looked at like some freak, even by the person we love the most. Here’s the thing though, one person’s fantasy/fetish could be his/her partner’s: “Oh God, yes please!!” moment. You won’t ever know until you find a way to spill the beans.
So, how do you tell someone what turns you on? How should I know? I’m still holding some of my kinkier kinks back. 😉 It’s a process and while you should be in a relationship with someone you trust before you tell, the irony of things like sexual fantasies is that it’s often EASIER to tell a perfect stranger what your deepest, darkest secret is. Why? Because they don’t know you well enough be judgmental and if they are you can just walk away from them, who gives a shit, right? Not so with a committed relationship, if they judge you… it fucking hurts. On the other hand, if they love you and are committed to you, then shouldn’t they accept you for who you are without reservation? Wouldn’t that include being accepting of your sexual desires?
It should and I’m not necessarily talking about acting out the fantasies. Sometimes all we need is to be able to share them, some can’t really be done. I mean how am I gonna get my husband to be a pirate on the high seas who raids my father’s ship, kidnaps me, tears my gown to shreds and ravages me in his pirate lair? He can’t but we can pretend and chat about it and allow ourselves to become immersed in the “story” and then…get naked and do an extended version of the mattress mambo.
Some fantasies can be reality but even if they aren’t gung ho about acting them out, just talking about things could be enough to ignite a spark back into a dulled romance. If you’re really lucky, your partner will hear you out and say, “yes ma’am, I can do that” and luckier still if he shares some with you that makes you wet yourself. You won’t ever know until you give it a shot and open up.
So…back to the big question: HOW DO YOU TELL THEM????
Answer: Read them this blog or send them the link with a note that says after you read this – let’s talk.
Why the heck not? Now I’m off to get my corset fixed…it got ripped last night. 😉
Happy Saturday Folks!!