Pablo Picasso famously called women either Goddesses or Doormats and through the years many have tried hard to define which was which. I find it simpler to just go with the obvious and look at the dictionary.
Goddess: a female god or a woman whose great charm or beauty arouses adoration; a woman who is adored or idealized, esp by a man
Doormat: someone who is treated badly by other people and does not complain. Someone who allows others to use them and toss them away when they finish.
There are many women walking around believing themselves to be Goddesses when they are nothing more than doormats.
So, for all you ladies out there, I am going to focus on doormats since this tends to be the thing we allow ourselves to blindly become.
Ask yourself the following questions:
- Do you give more than you get?
- Do you sacrifice and accommodate to please because you fear losing your man’s love?
- Do you get super excited and subtly or overtly design your life around your man- becoming too available?
- Do you compromise your values to keep his love or put your dreams aside?
- Do you put his needs before your own and believe that by fulfilling him – he’ll be loyal, giving and desirous of you?
- Do you allow him to use you for sex (real or virtual) knowing he is married?
- Did you become the “other woman” only to be tossed away like garbage when the affair was discovered?
If you answer yes to even one of those, you are currently or have been some man’s DOORMAT. There are ways to take back your power but the first step is realizing that you or rather your lack of self esteem is the problem.
You can never be a Goddess with someone who treated you like a doormat unless you repair yourself. Truthfully, why would you want to be with someone who treated you like you didn’t matter? The answer is you don’t but you do want to stop attracting men who see you as their next target. How do you do that?
Stop believing you’re unworthy, stop thinking that you can’t do better, stop looking at your flaws and telling yourself that you can’t have what you want because you’re fat now, had a shitty childhood, you’re ugly, you have children. Don’t mistake being a vengeful angry bitch with being a strong Goddess. Goddesses don’t need to be angry nor vengeful, they don’t need to be a bitch, they don’t need to be “maneaters”. That’s insecure thinking and behavior. The male equivalent to this is what we call an Insecure Beta. Insecurity is what caused you to be a DOORMAT in the first place. Treating men like shit does not make you strong, it makes you weak and sets you up to be used by a stronger personality. A truly secure person wants the same in a mate. They won’t allow themselves to be used, to be 2nd best, to whore themselves for some payment be it money or some other golden nugget. A secure Goddess will not tolerate being treated poorly, they demand better or they walk away with their dignity.
You need to build yourself up, to believe you are worthy and wonderful. To look at your reflection and see the amazing, sexy, beautiful and unique creature that you truly are. Tell yourself everyday that you are until you start to believe it.
Everyone has baggage. Everyone has things they carry and I’m not saying that you should only be with someone who is perfect. You should choose your equal though. You need someone who gives you their shoulder, as often as you give yours. A person who wants to fulfill your dreams, wants and desires as much as you want to fulfill theirs. A person willing to work hard through life’s bumps rather than runaway. Someone who would run into a burning building to pull you out, as you would for them. Someone who will not allow others to treat you poorly, someone who will stand up for you and defend you against your attackers….as you would for them. Someone who will both love and respect you. Someone who will forgive you as you forgive them…as none of us is perfect.
That’s what you should want, that’s what you should have and that is what it will be, if you are a Goddess.