How Do You Have Sex?

Starting out with a bang…literally!

First the question: “I’m not sure how to put this so I guess I’ll just be blunt. My boyfriend wants sex and I don’t feel sexy because I’m much heavier than I used to be. We’ve been dating a short time and I’m really just scared he’ll see my body and dump me. Is it okay to have sex with my nightie on and lights off? How can I hide my fat and still enjoy it? HELP!!!!!!”

The answer:

Is it okay to have sex with the lights off and your nightie on? Sure, if it’s the middle of the night and your man rolls over on you with a boner. Outside of that, I don’t recommend it. This is something all of us Big Girls go through, the inability to connect the dots and I was the same way.

Allow me to connect the dots. You say you have only been dating your boyfriend a short time, which means you were a Big Girl when he met you. He wants to bang you, which means he’s attracted to you. Unless you’re a mistress of illusion, he not only knows you’re a Big Girl but he likes that you are a thick and curvy lady. Whether or not you think you’re sexy, know this…your man does. Capisce?

Men are visual. They need and want to look at you, it adds to the excitement. So, that means lights on and nekkid! Now, if you just can’t do that and be comfortable, then try sexy lingerie.  When you see his eyes glaze over with excitement your confidence will rise faster than his manhood. Go with it and enjoy the experience. If he starts removing your lingerie, don’t stop him. Let him look, let him show you how sexy you are to him.








13 thoughts on “How Do You Have Sex?

  1. Gods, yes. My wife is a bigger girl. Has been from the day I have met her. We’ve been together four years.

    I can count the number of times I have seen her naked on one hand.

    And I know it will sound horrible, but damn it, it starts to take its toll on my attraction to her. It’s not the fact that she’s big that I am losing attraction to. It’s her constant, needless insecurity about it. It’s her inability to accept my affection. And it is hurting us more than I can seem to get her to understand.

  2. Get her to read my blog! LOL

    It’s very tough for a big girl to believe she’s hot and frustrating for the guy that’s hot for her. It’s probably hard to tell her because her insecurities make her defensive. Sounds like she needs an epiphany of sorts. Wake her up in the morning and bang her before she has her wits about her and get her naked – toss her nightie across the room. Let her see your face while you appraise her and touch her and after…take a shower with her. Tell her how sexy she is and how much you enjoy looking at her body and when she protests or says something negative about herself, shut her up with kisses.

    • I am not one to make excuses in general, so do forgive me if this sounds that way. 😉

      I wish I could, my dear. She doesn’t like to read, and has declined multiple attempts to share my blogging addiction with her.

      As for the rest, ah, my dear…trust me, I’ve tried. And do try. All the time. I get pushed away, rejected, told to stop, grumped at, and ignored for Facebook. And she hates kissing. So…

      Anyway. I know that all sounds very negative. I just had a rough morning, and having tried all this and been rejected again, it is beginning to have a very negative toll.

  3. Awesome question and “even awesomer” advice. This is my first time reading your blog and I am definitely coming back for more! Thanks!

  4. Very, very good idea and how I look back and wish I had this kind of advice but it it is never too late to learn 🙂

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